Project# 2 at Crystal-Talk Toastmasters Club

Cross Examination of a discriminator
Disclaimer: The view are taken from the original blog written by me@ .
This speech was delivered within Motorola office premises in Bangalore, India. But Motorola is not responsible for any remark made by the speaker.


23rd July 2007.. Orissa Police found 30 polythene bags stuffed with female fetuses. Killed even before they could have opened their eyes.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the ugly world.

Recently I celebrated end of my 1st year as a father. It is a baby girl, born in an expensive hospital made for upper middle class and upper class people. When the nurse came out of operation theatre she sheepishly said, it’s a girl. With all her hopes of getting a hefty tip crash landed.

In 2002, I was in my 3rd year of engineering. A friend of mine came back from her house after his elder bro became a father and his parents didn’t allow him to take sweets with him because it was a girl and not a boy.
That was scene 1 in a Metro city like Delhi.
Scene 2. 2001. A small town in Rajasthan. A woman asked the nurse after gaining consciousness, is it a boy or is it a girl? The nurse replied that she got a kaani chhori.. girl with disability in one eye..
That lady got a boy and the nurse said that just to avoid the blame of having a buri nazar on the boy.

Centuries are taking their turns but one thing which is seriously consistent in the Indian Society is still the wish for a boy in the family. There is change in the society but the questions are why the change is taking so much time and why the change is not reaching to every portion of the society.

Now, can we assume that the young generation has already upgraded from such mentality and so society will be changed in the next 15 years?

Scene 3: One of my cousins advised me to give tender coconut’s flower to my pregnant wife to eat so that she can give birth to a boy.
Surprisingly my cousin is a doctor and gender of a fetus is decided at the time of conception which cannot be changed later.

Let me narrow down the topic by discussing one question, its possible answers and my counterviews on those answers.

The question is: What is so good about baby boys and why people prefer a boy over a girl??

Anwer#1. Boy will carry the family name. A girl will be married and go.
Answer# 2. Boy will be a bread winner for the family and will take care of the aged parents.
Answer# 3. Marriage is a costly affair for girl's parents.

Now let me counter these answers by my points.
Counterview for Answer#1.
How many of you know the name of your grandfather's father??
What’s this fuss about our family name?
We are middle class people and not the nawabs and zamindaars of 1800 times who boast of their bloodline. In this modern world what we do is what matters. Could Chelsea Clinton outvote Obama in 2008 US Elections just because her father is a former president?

If people are worried about who will enjoy their assets after their death then they should simply think if their legacy can be forwarded to their sons the same can be gifted to their daughters also.

Now coming to the question of whose name should be given to the children. My question is: Is it really important ???

How many of us know/remember Rajeev Gandhi's father's name?? Or Rajiv Gandhi's paternal grand father's name? Rahul Gandhi and Priyanka Gandhi are still flaunting the blood line of Nehru and Indira Gandhi and not Feroz Gandhi.. Priyanka is still Gandhi and not Vadhera, practically.

Counter view #2. Boys will take care of the parents. With the increasing number of young boys and girls moving out of their hometowns to metro cities and abroad, the only thing they can do to their parents is sending money. And with the growing foresight for the retirement options and investments for safe future, everybody is moving towards a state when money will not be a favor to take from children, any more.

So if your son is not with you and you don’t need money also from him, how does that matter if he is son and not daughter?

There are examples of children settled in US, keep sending money and visiting only when any of their parent dies.

On the other hand there are examples of daughters taking care of their parents. So clearly, as marriage is seen a bond between two families and not only between to people, it is a time to realize that if a woman can take care of her ailing parent in laws then similar duty is of a man also to take care of his in laws.

Counter view #3. Wedding is a costly affair for girl’s parents.
Until and unless we make our girls independent, educated and smart, we will continue to be haunted by the wedding expenses and dowry ghost. An eligible groom can be bartered against a deserving bride. The problem is more specific to smaller cities and towns where lesser girls take education for profession and financial independence and are primarily seen as a liability that must get married and go.

I want to conclude with 2 requests:
1. Let the chanda kocchars and indira nooyis of future see this world.
2. Don’t just feel happy that you are educated and you don’t discriminate. Someone else in your vicinity must be doing this. Be proactive, keep your eyes open, spread the word and take the pledge that we all have to root out this evil from this world.

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